Valentine Poems - A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a poem with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received: (Who knows? They might come in handy one of these days :-)
I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But roses are wilting, and violets are dead,
the beer case empty, and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
Describing everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace!
But keep that paper bag over your face.
I love your smile, your face, and eyes!
Damn, am I good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife;
Marrying you... it screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
What did you eat to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe... "go to hell!"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, and one part of lime.