The Devil, we're told, in hell he was chained,
and a thousand years, he down their remained.
He never complained, nor loud did he groan,
but determined to start a hell of his own.
From where he could torment, the souls of men,
without being chained, to a prison pen.
So he asked the Lord, if he had on hand,
anything left, when he made the land.
The Lord said, -"Yes I had plenty on hand,
but I left it down, at the Rio Grande.
Though the fact is old boy, the stuff is so poor,
you couldn't even use it, in hell anymore."
But the Devil went up, to look at the truck,
and said if it came, as a gift he was stuck;
for after examining, careful and well,
he concluded the place, was too bad for hell.
So in order to get it, off of his hand,
God promised the Devil, to water the land.
For he had some water, or rather some dregs,
a regular cathartic, that smelt like bad eggs.
Hence the deal was closed and deed was given,
and the Lord went back, to his place in heaven.
Then the Devil said, -"I have all that I needed,
to make a good hell," and for sure he succeeded.
He began to put thorns, on all of the trees,
and he mixed up the sand, with millions of fleas.
He scattered tarantulas, along all the roads,
put thorns on the cacti, and horns on the toads;
he lengthened the horns, on the Texas steer,
and made an addition, on jack rabbits' ears.
He put fierce little devils, in broncho steed,
and poisoned the feet, of the centipede.
The rattlesnake bites you, the scorpion stings,
the mosquito delights you, by buzzing his wings.
The sand burrs prevail, and so do the ants,
and if you sit down, you need soles on your pants.
The devil then said, that throughout the land,
he'd managed to keep up the Devil's own hand.
And all would be mavericks, unless they bore
the marks of scratches, and bites by the score.
The heat in the summer, is a hundred and ten,
too hot for the Devil, and too hot for men.
But the family Bush, they there happily roam,
this hell of a hell, is the place they call home.
Where red pepper grows, on banks of the brook,
which they use like the Devil, in all that they cook.
Just dine with George Bush, and then you'll shout,
-"I've hell on the inside, as well as without!"
Joe Anonimous + Brandulph Christophersèn
The Devil in Texas
Got something to do with the Bush
family this one