Hola Roger!

Is your prostate still annoying you ?...   have the new pills you have started to gobble, given you  a permanent dimplick  maybe?... how was the trip back home?... did they meet you at the airport with a wheelchair as promised :-) ?... are you still on your own two legs after the race we went thru during your vacation?...  or?...  have they locked you away in a nursing home for good!. (Vacation my ass!.. it was nothing but a six day booze galore combined with a gigantic slumbering suppressed hangover! If you ever show up here again Roger!, my liver will come straight out and kill you! That is, unless my wife gets her hands on you first! :-) Nah!, it was just great having you here!, but this letter is not  on your "prostate and haemorrhoids", but about a Scot and The News.  (By the way, please don't write me any more letters about those two subjects. Please! Start thinking about something more pleasant to write about for Christ sake! Sailing... females... dogs... anything but bloody prostate and haemorrhoids! You see Roger, somehow I am not able to muster up any sympathy for the bloody  pain you suffer in your ass at times. Hence, as of today, at least the haemorrhoid case is deemed closed for ever! Period!... and herby also an end  to this crappy prologue! Let me start on my actual letter to you this time.

-"An after-the-meal-speech like that, has never before been made by any Scotsman," said Oscar to me. We were on our way home after a small stroll around town, which we had made together  with our good friend (and my one time neighbour) - Angus McWeigh. It was a marvellous afternoon, which we had finished off with a rich and healthy Irish soup-of-the-day in one of our local waterholes. After our three rounds of tall Guinness, Angus had belched to the waiter, -"Waiteraaa.. burrrp... the bill please.. burrrrp.. it's all on me."

Well buddy, understand this right!.. Oscar was in no way implying that Scots are tight in anyway whatsoever. On the contrary, Angus is like most Scots (and Irish!), a most cordial and generous person. Much more so than any other "nationality" I have known.  It might be said of course, that Angus is not as lenient with his hard earned dough than most of us are, but that's simply one of his admirable asset.
Having said that however, I simply must add, that (during the years he was my next door neighbour) we always took it as an absolute sure sign  of summer being just around the corner, when Angus threw out his Christmas tree. He is simply a great guy, and I shall introduce him to you the next time you pay us a visit. He was  back in Scotland the last time you were here.

And.. but yes!.. before I forget it.. you might remember the  guy I told you about some three years ago, who sued the city of Benidorm, because he got badly hurt when watching a bull fight on a Sunday afternoon? Well, that was Angus!... he had then fallen down from a tall palm tree, just outside the main entrance to the bull fight arena.

Anyway, the last evening before you returned to Norway, after watching the news on CNN (?), we talked about the mostly twisted, and at times straight out incredible lies, told us by the news media. Well, this was also the issue the three of us  discussed this afternoon. Sort of inevitable these days I guess, with all the bullshit thrown on us daily about the reason for the ongoing US/UK atrocities in Iraq, and elsewhere in the world, where there are natural resources to be looted. (Not to mention the pervert Israeli treatment of the Palestinians.)

While Angus was of the opinion that, what "Rupert Murdoch & Co." serve the public, is so bad that one cannot help but getting totally brain washed if watching and reading the stuff daily, Oscar and I were of the opinion, that there always is a certain amount of truth in what is being presented in the news.
-"It is all a matter of being sceptical and critical when watching or reading the news... if keeping that in mind, there is nothing wrong or dangerous  in consuming what is being thrown on us," Oscar said to Angus then, to which our Scottish friend replied: -"Oscar.. you brainless old square headed Norwegian.. the way you talk is like if a restaurant serves you a soup with 30% slaughterhouse waste..  you would just spoon out the filth and garbage, and tell me that the soup in reality tastes quite good!... only pigs feed on such garbage!"

Well, as already said, Angus took the bill, and he also got the last words on the matter. Words though, that really gave me something to ponder over, until our next gathering at our favourite waterhole in Altea. And the more I have thought about this, the more sense I find in what Angus said.  It is of course not so, that all journalists are verbal prostitutes, but what they write, and how they write it, is of course in full accordance with the owners of the media for whom they work. Stepping out of line in this respect, will without doubt, cost a journalist his/her job. Besides,  the editor would in any case see to it that whatever is written is "kosher" and in accordance with "the truth" that the owners want to present us useful idiots.
-"If a restaurant serves you a soup with 30% slaughterhouse waste.. ," Angus said. However, looking at the content in the tabloid press, which is dominating the news stands here on Costa Blanca, it might be more correct to say that the "soup" served us contains a whopping 90% garbage. And!, the amazing thing with it all is, that a very large number of the expatriates living here, seem to just love (and prefer!) this type of cheap and crummy mental soup. What do you think buddy?... rather frightening and depressing or...?

Best regards!... and!..  stem onwards with great macho and utter ferocity!
Brandulph Chr.sèn
I promised to write you a letter on "Dog shit in Albir" some time ago. I haven't forgotten it.. it's in the pipeline :-)  Ah yes.. and finally.. let me also under this post scriptum, finish off with some words which I have grabbed from the famous statesman and one time journalist, named after a fine brand of Cuban cigars, Sir Winston Churchill:  -"Most people, sometimes in their lives, stumble across the truth. Most jump up, brush themselves off, and hurry on about their business as if nothing had happened."
If you can't be good... please don't get caught ;-)

This is a letter I wrote to an "old" friend ofmine, who pays me
a visit here from time to time. One heck of a nice  guy, with a
light prostate problem and agonizing hemorrhoids, giving him a
pain in the ass at times... me too ;-)